My first time…
January 26, 2010So there we were. Just the two of us. Alone and in the dark. I wondered if the small amber light above our heads revealed the fear in my eyes, the sweat of my brow, the relentless pounding of my heart in my chest. I wondered if it was obvious that I was nervous as hell, yet giddy like a little school boy. It was after all my first time. Yes, I was a virgin. I know, I know. At 31 you would think I would be much more experienced at this sort of thing. But I wasn’t. Its not that I never had the opportunity. I did. Plenty in high school. After all I was on the year book committee. Okay, maybe not plenty. Its just that at that age I had other interests. Football. Grades. Avoding being pounded by my older brother. No, it had to be the right place. The right time. The right person to guide me. To gently walk me through this, step by step. I didn’t want to miss a thing.
I stepped forward, palms sweaty. I knew that I if I rushed it then bad things would happen and I would be horribly embarrassed. At the same time if I hesitated too long the moment would be ruined. No, it had to be just right. “Here goes nothing” I whispered to myself. “Be. Amazing….”
I’m of course speaking of my first time hand developing my own film earlier this afternoon. And for the record, I was amazing. To see that image come to life literally took my breath away. Don’t get me wrong. I am and will always be a digital photographer. But there is no denying the spiritual and emotional investment one makes when realizing your vision from start to finish. From exposure to print. Its so innocent. So organic. And like a certain orange juice I love, “simply unfooled around with”.
This experience would not have been possible if not for the love and support of the couples who consitantly push me to new levels and the readers who encourage me beyond measure. To commemorate this wonderful experience I would like to give my very first, hand developed fine art print away to a reader who will enjoy this image as much as I enjoyed creating it. Taken on my Holga 120N, the print, aptly named Number 1 is an 8″x8″ image on 11″x11″ Fujifilm Crystal Archival Paper, matted and framed. Just show some comment love to be eligible. The winner will be announced one week from today so don’t wait. Leave some Goodness now!
Pingback from Better late than never | Clayton Austin
[...] I know that I was suppose to announce the winner of my print giveaway contest on Tuesday. Well its been one of those weeks but I am happy to announce Jasen Southward the big [...]
AmyPunky Photography said: What a fabulous experience it must be! I’d love to try film one day. :) Caroline Ghetes said: I love it. The story the picture, everything : ) I remember too, when I went to my local community college for an introductory film class. So much patience was required to develop just one picture, when with digital you fly through them in Photoshop like they don’t matter or something. But that rush you get when you see your image appear inside that chemical-filled tray, is beyond the rush you get with digital. LOVE this post. Can’ wait to see more of your school projects. Can’t wait to go back myself ; ) Caitlin said: I just developed for my first time last week! It was amazing! My first print was from a pinhole camera that we made in darkroom class. Haha. SO fun. Love the print! Love your work! :) bekah said: i love love love your work! everytime i see that you have posted something new I cannot wait to check it out. your pictures are amazing…and this picture is beautiful! Lauren Carlson said: I remember the first time I developed my own film. I was taking a photography class in Italy, and after spending 2 days taking pictures around town, I spent over 5 hours working on this one just one photo–it turned out great. Photography truly is a labor of love. gina said: you’re so stinking inspiring! each time i visit your blog, i am overwhelmed with desire to just do SOMETHING creative…. so many ideas pop to life from your images! they are just stunning. a print like this, that is imprinted with so much energy and dedication, love… would inspire each and every time it stole a glance (or a very drawn out gaze!) :) Deborah said: I still have my first print, ok it was only of the dog perfectly posed on the floor in front of the fireplace, but I was 7… and my mother had her darkroom right there in the house. So, if you ever wondered where my love of pictures came from I will show you that print one day, inspiration… mom. What an honor it would be to have your print, my dearest friend, next to mine. Maybe its not fair Im writing this, I am more than just one of your many admirers… but I just had to tell you how proud I am of you, your progress, your talents. And let you know I will forever remember, and be greatful of that afternoon at Stbx. Beautiful… just like you~ Kaysha Weiner said: I think you should keep this picture for yourself. I have my first print framed on my wall from high school. Its sentimental and nice to have! Trevor Dayley said: That boat is pure goodness and would look amazing above my desk! When I read the first part of your post I had to do a double take – I could swear I was reading one of my wife’s romance novels. Now that I got my mind out of the gutter I am incredibly amazed that your first print turned out that flippin good! Everything you touch turns to pure gold goodness! Keep up the great work my friend!!! Shannon said: Oh my gosh. I used to develop b&w film all the time. The darkroom is like a small safe home to me. Working on getting a darkroom sometime in the next 4 years. I’d kill for that print, I’ve always been a huge fan of yours. <3 Jasen said: Wow, first comment. I’ve said it before but I’ll say it again. I am a big fan of your work and would love to have this hanging on the wall bringing some inspiration and a added level of awesomeness. Billy Camacho said: That photo is exactly what my living room has been waiting for. Looks like I win!!!