I sat on the edge of the fountains in front of the Palais De Chaillot, my bare feet wading in the still pool, the smell of rain just beyond the horizon and I couldn’t help but to stare in wonder. After all who am I to be here? A little over a year ago I was putting in over 60 hours a week in the back of an ambulance just doing my best to make ends meet. And today, well today I am in the heart of Paris, by far the most beautiful place I have ever dreamed drinking the worlds finest wines and eating foie gras and creme brulee and I just can’t seem to wrap my brain around my own reality. That I am simply here.

Deborah and Eric sat on the stone bench ten yards down the pool, the Eiffel Tower looming overhead. She held out her hand to check for the slightest sign of imminent rain and then looked toward the sky just for good measure. I did the same.

“We had better get a move on it if we are going to beat the storm” I said with a sense of urgency.
“You’re probably right.” she replied, and then one by one removed the silk plumb shoes from her feet and made her way to the edge of the mossy green pool. Tourists began to gather out of curiosity and somewhere I heard a strong English accent say “She’s not getting in that with her dress on is she??” A flash fired from the crowd and then another.
I was first to get in. The water was a bit cooler than I had anticipated for this time of year and even though it only went to my knees I was unable to actually see the bottom. My heart pounded in my chest and I gripped my camera with a fierceness that turned my knuckles white. I hadn’t been this excited since my Junior prom and surely this would end better than that did.

I turned and gently took her hand as she slipped into the pool beside me, Eric cautiously watching from the crowd.  Deborah winked and blew him a kiss and just as we were about to make our way to the middle of the fountain I heard Eric yell “Wait!”  and before I knew what was happening I saw Eric kicking off his shoes and socks and jumping into the fountain in his hand tailored Italian suit.

“If she goes in, then I go in!” he stated matter-of-factly as he waded out toward us. When he reached us he grabbed Deborah by the waist and pulled in her in close. “If you go in, then I go in too baby.” 

For a moment I had lost my barrings and if it weren’t for the applause of the crowd then I may have missed the moment all together. Thankfully I pulled myself together at the last second and raised my camera to my eye just as he leaned in and kissed her. In the middle of an ancient fountain. Under the gaze of the Eiffel Tower. In the heart of Paris, France.

“When I held you in my arms at your baptism, I wanted it to be a fresh start for us, for us to be more complete than we had ever been before.”

Once, not too long ago I came across a tree in the heart of the Muir Woods near San Francisco. It had the names of two lovers carved into it and until that point I can’t say I had actually seen such a thing in person. I couldn’t help but feel an overwhelming sense of joy for the young couple and whether the two were even still together is irrelevant. On that day they absolutely loved each other and together made their mark. Years, maybe even decades later I stumbled across their tree along the edge of a cliff overlooking the Pacific Ocean and as I ran my fingertips along the crevices of their names I became inspired by the nostalgia I felt.

I am so happy to announce a new addition to my website. The Carving Tree is simply a place to leave a mark. To carve a message of hope, or encouragement, or just a name for others to happen upon in their own journeys. The Carving Tree can be found on my main website so please take a moment to head over their and leave your mark.

This place is something in a life of its own. Here I am sitting on a tiny balcony overlooking the small quaint village of  Lambsborn, Germany, population 753, and can’t help but think that us Americans have really got it all wrong. People walk slower here and when they pass you on the street they actually look you in the eye and greet you a guten tag(good morning). This particular region is a major producer of Rapeseed which eventually ends up as canola oil or biodiesel but that really is beside the point. The endless fields of yellow are unlike anything I have ever seen. They are just amazing. We will be staying here for two more days before making our way to Paris. And today, more than usual, I  am thankful for my life…

The funny thing about this post is that it has been months in the making and has been amended at least a hundred times. I would read it over and over again, taking this line out because it sounded cheesy, leaving that line in despite the bad grammar simply because it was honest. And now in just a few hours we are boarding a plane to Paris and I have decided to delete everything and start from scratch. The truth is I was just want to talk to you. What I really want is to kick off my shoes and sit with you in our garden that you tilled with your own two hands. Thank you for that. I want to tell you how I feel and not worry about adjectives and spelling.

I remember our first date like it was just yesterday. I was so nervous  that I had consumed an entire bottle of wine before you even arrived. Which explains why the oven roasted potatoes were burned but you told me they were amazing anyway. Thank you for that. We laughed and talked into the night and somewhere in there I kissed you standing in my kitchen. God you smelled so good. You always smell so good. I asked you to stay the night with me. You did. And we called in to work four days in a row. Making love and laughing and having breakfast for dinner and I fell for you like a stone. Thank you for that.

And now here we are and sometimes I can’t believe how the time has passed. We have endured more than most couples in a lifetime. Together. And I know without a doubt that we have survived what most couples our age could not. Or would not. But we did because you believed in us. Thank you for that.

I know that I can be a stubborn fool sometimes. Okay, a lot of times. And I can’t say that it will be easy and that I will never lie to you. Let’s face it. Next week when you ask me who peed on the toilet seat I will probably say it wasn’t me. When you ask who left the wet towel on the floor I will deny I had anything to do with it. When you ask who cranked the A.C. down to 50 I will plead the 5th. And if I know you, you will laugh and shake your head and whisper “unbelievable”. Thank you for that. Its not that I am liar. Its just that you are asking all the wrong questions babe. Instead, ask me who whatched you sleep last night by the light of a cell phone and I alone will claim responsibility. Ask me who thinks of you at the most random times. In a grocery store, crossing the street, taking a shower, day and night, every minute of every day and who would simply be lost with out you. Yes, that is me. Yes, I do that. Yes, I am the one. Thank you for that.

I have had a lonely life. I have loved others with my every being only to be denied reciprocity and I was left crushed. When I was younger I cursed love. But you have changed that in me. There was a time when all I did was burn bridges and now all I want to do is build you a fence. I want to build you a covered porch if only to sit on its steps with my head resting in your lap. I want to sleep in your mouth. I want to hide your kisses in my hands. I want to carve your name in a tree. I have loved others before you. But you, you I have loved the most. You have given me life. Thank you for that.

By the time you read this we will already be in Paris. Hell, we may even be home by then. It matters not because Ill do this again soon enough. Perhaps taking a stroll through a back alley on an evening walk. Perhaps enjoying a cup of coffee at a quaint little street cafe in the heart of the Champs Elysees district. Whatever the time or place, very soon I will ask you to marry me. And I know you love me too. So you will say yes and make a man out of me. Thank you for that…

 The Infidelities of the St. Lawrence
By: Clayton Austin

 Its six in the morning and the waters
of the St. Lawrence have beckoned me to her bed.
Revealing herself to me under sleepy skies,
she invites me into her chambers
where my concubine’s virginity lies.
Tell me my spotless bride,
where shall your lover’s cast fall undefeated?
Over there under the Quaking Aspen tree?
Where the shade looms over the deep pools
of your untamed chastity?

I Step from the safety of the smooth stones
worn by the passing tides
and venture into deeper waters.
Her current wraps around me like legs as she
presses her frigid touch against my manhood,
running her cold hands down my trousers
and up my flannel shirt
only to reveal the depths of her skirt.
Careful lover,
not too much too fast
Lest I withdraw unable to last.

Keeping time in a two-four rhythm
Back and forth, then back again
Together we spin our hearts lightly,
a flick of my rod sending
carefully tied, feathery flies
skimming across the shimmering surface
of her breast, her thighs.
And no sooner than it all began
she gives up what I came for,
and with prize in hand I head for the shore.

Be well my sweet
For when the morrow comes
you will find me here
on your pebble strewn shore,
ready and willing
to make love once more.

This, well this is simply awesome.
__________________________

Hello Mr. Austin!

I don´t know very well write in English, in fact, neither I can pronounce it well, I had to look for a support to write this letter, I hope you can finally understand my message:
Every time I visit your blog, I feel so much energy through your photos, sometimes I think that I will cry for so much happiness!… I love your work! I have a wish: to meet you and I hope God let us the opportunity of making and tell our stories through your camera, i dream with a special day for me…. My wedding day, at this moment I don’t know when will have occur, but I really wish that we can meet you for then.

 I love your web!, it’s hard for me understand everything, but if I have to slow down and repeat every sentence two or three times, let me tell you… it’s worth it!

 Well, I have to say good bye for this moment, I hope that in the near future we can meet finally. I’ll try that then, my English will improved, you encourage me. Thank you for all the goodness of your words and actions, you can now realize that this power can go far and touch some hearts like mine.

 Thank you again.

God bless us

From Monterrey, Mexico.

Mónica M.

And because every post is better with a picture…