The funny thing about this post is that it has been months in the making and has been amended at least a hundred times. I would read it over and over again, taking this line out because it sounded cheesy, leaving that line in despite the bad grammar simply because it was honest. And now in just a few hours we are boarding a plane to Paris and I have decided to delete everything and start from scratch. The truth is I was just want to talk to you. What I really want is to kick off my shoes and sit with you in our garden that you tilled with your own two hands. Thank you for that. I want to tell you how I feel and not worry about adjectives and spelling.

I remember our first date like it was just yesterday. I was so nervous  that I had consumed an entire bottle of wine before you even arrived. Which explains why the oven roasted potatoes were burned but you told me they were amazing anyway. Thank you for that. We laughed and talked into the night and somewhere in there I kissed you standing in my kitchen. God you smelled so good. You always smell so good. I asked you to stay the night with me. You did. And we called in to work four days in a row. Making love and laughing and having breakfast for dinner and I fell for you like a stone. Thank you for that.

And now here we are and sometimes I can’t believe how the time has passed. We have endured more than most couples in a lifetime. Together. And I know without a doubt that we have survived what most couples our age could not. Or would not. But we did because you believed in us. Thank you for that.

I know that I can be a stubborn fool sometimes. Okay, a lot of times. And I can’t say that it will be easy and that I will never lie to you. Let’s face it. Next week when you ask me who peed on the toilet seat I will probably say it wasn’t me. When you ask who left the wet towel on the floor I will deny I had anything to do with it. When you ask who cranked the A.C. down to 50 I will plead the 5th. And if I know you, you will laugh and shake your head and whisper “unbelievable”. Thank you for that. Its not that I am liar. Its just that you are asking all the wrong questions babe. Instead, ask me who whatched you sleep last night by the light of a cell phone and I alone will claim responsibility. Ask me who thinks of you at the most random times. In a grocery store, crossing the street, taking a shower, day and night, every minute of every day and who would simply be lost with out you. Yes, that is me. Yes, I do that. Yes, I am the one. Thank you for that.

I have had a lonely life. I have loved others with my every being only to be denied reciprocity and I was left crushed. When I was younger I cursed love. But you have changed that in me. There was a time when all I did was burn bridges and now all I want to do is build you a fence. I want to build you a covered porch if only to sit on its steps with my head resting in your lap. I want to sleep in your mouth. I want to hide your kisses in my hands. I want to carve your name in a tree. I have loved others before you. But you, you I have loved the most. You have given me life. Thank you for that.

By the time you read this we will already be in Paris. Hell, we may even be home by then. It matters not because Ill do this again soon enough. Perhaps taking a stroll through a back alley on an evening walk. Perhaps enjoying a cup of coffee at a quaint little street cafe in the heart of the Champs Elysees district. Whatever the time or place, very soon I will ask you to marry me. And I know you love me too. So you will say yes and make a man out of me. Thank you for that…